Nervous System regulation is a very hot topic right now, but why?
What is so important about being in a “regulated” nervous system and how does it benefit us as parents?
Your nervous system controls movements, thoughts, feelings and responses in your body and if it is dysregulated, out of sync, or unbalanced, it can cause you to feel “dis-ease” in your body. Some people describe this dysregulation as feeling on edge, anxious, trouble sleeping, aches and pains and having a hard time being in tune with your emotions.
So, what can “dysregulate” your nervous system-
The answer is simple- anything.
We all live in unique bodies and nervous systems and can feel activated or triggered by many different events in our life.
Your child’s behavior, reactions, own dysregulation can certainly be one of those triggers.
It doesn’t make you a bad parent or “wrong” in the reactions you have to your child’s feelings, it just means that your nervous system is not ready to process what it is being presented with.
Let’s say, for example, your three-year-old is having a huge expression of emotion in the middle of Target because you won’t buy her a toy she has picked out. Your child is crying loudly, and plops herself down in the middle of the aisle, refuses to move and people begin looking at you.
What does this feel like in your body? How is your nervous system reacting? You may start to feel sweaty or nauseous, you may shout out “Stop it right now!” You may walk over to her and try to pick up her and say “this is not how we behave.”
You may feel like you want to run away and get out of there as soon as possible, you might freeze and have no idea what to do, you may react to those looking at you with a glare- any an all of these are your nervous system trying to protect itself because this situation feels really uncomfortable. Then, inevitably, you may beat yourself up later, label yourself as a “bad mom” because of how you reacted and feel the guilt when really your system was just doing what it does best- protecting you.
So how do we get back to regulation? How do we ease our nervous system back into harmony no matter what our outside environment is presenting to us?
- Having a nervous system regulation tool to use in and out of the challenging moment- such as EFT Tapping. EFT is one of the primary and most accessible tools for nervous system regulation because it is always with you- at your fingertips.
- The PAUSE. The pause is the moment, the breath, the space, before the reaction. Practicing this moment over and over again when you are in challenging situations is a great place to start. Giving your nervous system that moment before you decide what to do with what is being presented in front of you cultivates safety in the nervous system to make a more optimal choice.
- Give yourself grace. You are an ever-evolving human, just like your child. You do not need to be perfect for them. Your reactions do not need to be prefect. They need to see your humanness, your learning, your struggle, so they can feel safe to take that journey too.
- Practice when you can. Regulating your nervous system takes time and practice. It is a marathon, not a sprint.
Click on the video below to learn more about how to weave tapping into your day as and love and accept yourself as you learn and practice becoming more regulated in your nervous system.
Kristen is an EFT Practioner and Akashic Records Reader. She lives in Methuen with her husband and three boys. She works specifically with parents, children and families to safely feel, cope and process emotions and empower themselves to thrive through regulating their own nervous system.
Email: kristencurtis8613@gmail.com
Website:www.souleft.com
